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COACHING

The Relationship Away Day

How to apply the business planning you do at work to the most important relationship you have — your partner.

John Davidson, Coach

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A couple holding hands watching the sun set (UNSPLASH)
Photo by Ryan Holloway on Unsplash

Why do we need to plan our life as a couple?

Every six months, Mrs Davidson and I book a hotel for a night and have an away day. When we tell our friends about it, they laugh.

They then stop, think and ask what our agenda is. Once we explain why we spend a day away and what we discuss, others also want to do the same.

I’d say it’s the most critical thing you can do for your relationship, your family and, of course, yourself.

What do you discuss on a relationship away day?

Before discussing the agenda, let’s discuss why it’s essential:

  • It’s an opportunity for uninterrupted time together without home and family life distractions. You’ll need to leave the children behind.
  • It’s a structured way to discuss your lives and everything that influences them in a calm and conducive environment.
  • It’s a way to guarantee focus, with no phones, time limit, or places to be.
  • And yes, it’s time for a cuddle after!

We have one Relationship Away Day between Christmas and New Year to focus on the year ahead and review the one just gone. We also have another Relationship Away Day in the summer before autumn to check and reset things before winter kicks in.

We pick a nice hotel and ensure a relaxed journey there with plenty of time in the afternoon (5–6 hours). If the idea of five hours together without distraction is scary, that’s an excellent place to start the discussion!

When we started in 2016, we were pleased that some of the significant issues we had to deal with the previous year weren’t so big and no longer featured on our worry list.

They included things like redundancy and significant illness in the previous year. We learned that deciding how to handle them in advance would have made it much easier for them to deal with when they happened.

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